REAL WORLD: when our blog went on line for the first time, inexperience in writing led us to publish each chapter of our stories starting from already developed plots without providing details on how, what and if the world behaves in a way or the other.
In the Italian site we promised ourselves that we would explain everything as we went along but this only confused readers; so we are taking the chance of our new site and especially on its international version to start over with our fantasy plots and talk about the Positive World from its beginning -when main characters did not know what they were getting into.
Fantasy world will be set up with sequentially ordered stories, hoping that readers won’t get lost or confused, this way.
The first story we propose is about Sharon, a girl who is passionate about music and unaware that she has changed the world just by attending a concert…
Sharon
My name is Sharon Gray, and this is my story; ever since I was a teenager I have always tried to defend my freedom, and by dint of struggles with my family members I managed to achieve my greatest dream: to attend two of the most famous concerts in the world and meet my singer idol. It was worth it, even though at only 20 years old I had to make a sacrifice greater than myself.
1987: the group
“Music Around” was the place where my brother and I spent almost every afternoon together with three of our trusted friends.
It was a store where everything was about music. Benjamin, the owner, opened it hoping to pass on the love for music and singing to people of all ages, from young folks to the elderly.
Records, musical instruments, sound toys for children… Everything could be found there, and for us, it was like a second home.
Lawrence and the two twins were already inside, looking at the record shelves, while Aileen played the piano, so only Benny said “hello” as soon as I walked in.
There was no need for sweaters or large jackets anymore; my pregnant state could no longer be hidden, and I always had to deal with other people’s malicious stares. Everyone judged me except Benny, who always welcomed me with open arms as if I were family.
“Tell me, Shaz,” he asked, stroking my baby bump. “Why did you arrive later than usual? Are you feeling okay?”
“I got late doing housework,” I tried giving him the first random answer, but he knew me, aware of how much I hated chores.
I looked down, knowing I had to keep my composure because none of my friends, however much I wanted them to, could ever help me reverse the situation I found myself in.
“Leave her alone,” my brother tried to downplay my feelings. “She’s in a bad mood today.” Lawrence was always so cynical, dismissing my sadness with a joke, but he was the only one in the family who ever stood up to our father’s verbal abuse.
Still sitting at the piano, Aileen gave me a complicit smile, “I know what you need!” And she improvised a Queen song.
“You’ve got Freddie Mercury in your blood,” the twins commented in unison on their friend’s performance, and Benjamin echoed them: “Sure, like the rest of us!”
He proudly approached the two girls, identical to each other, and rested his hands on their shoulders. “And the two of you are even closer than before. Identical twins, plus the biological bond acquired after the concert. I’m proud of you.”
Jenny and Jill looked at each other, shaking their heads, then focused on Aileen, Lawrence, and me. I didn’t quite understand what they were talking about, but we were clearly missing something that Benny, on the other hand, understood perfectly.
“Love of my life, don’t leave me,” Aileen continued playing and singing until I broke down in tears. Who knew where my one true great love was! After the concert I had attended months earlier, the man had spent time with all of us, yet I sensed he had a deeper feeling for me.
“I wish you knew, Benny,” I sobbed into his shoulder. “I’ve already written him several letters, but he never replies. I’m sure he doesn’t want my — our — little baby girl.”
“Knowing him, I wouldn’t say that. He loves children. You’ll see; he’ll show up sooner or later!” Benny tried to reassure me. “It’s just that he has a thousand things to do! Recording songs, giving interviews, avoiding harassing reporters… He lives the life of a rock star, my dear.”
True, my great love was a celebrity, and if the tabloids knew that a girl twenty years younger than him was going to give him a daughter, it would be a scandal. What if my letters had already ended up in the wrong hands?
I quickly chased that thought away, but then another worry took hold of me. “I have to leave, Benny… I have to leave, everyone.”
Aileen finished playing the last notes and ran over to hug me. She whispered something in my ear and placed one of my hands on her belly, but I deliberately ignored her. The twins joined her, and only Lawrence stayed standing next to Benjamin.
“Next week, my sister is getting married and leaving for Russia,” Lawrence proudly announced, recounting what I wished was just a bad dream. “Vladimir may not be the best person in this world, but Shaz has to understand that even the little girl will be better off at home with a rich man…” My brother continued with his cynical attitude, and I struggled to contain my anger.
“HE’S ALWAYS DRUNK ON VODKA,” I shouted. “I have no choice. Either I marry him, or Dad will force me to give up my baby…”
A sudden cough stopped me from finishing the sentence, as if some unknown force wanted to suppress the thought of my baby being given up for adoption or, worse, lost to an abortion. I had already decided to keep her as soon as I knew I was pregnant; now, with her birth approaching, there was no question.
“Your father is forcing you to have the Russians as wedding witnesses, but I am the one who is always with you. Don’t panic!” A voice I’d been hearing in my toughest moments for nearly a year whispered into my ear. I’d always thought it was my mind speaking to me, but this time it felt sharper, more real; it wasn’t a man’s voice, nor a woman’s, nor robotic. I had always kept this perception to myself without even telling my friends.
“Let me see your new synthesizers, Benny,” I tried to cover my embarrassment in front of the others, but the mysterious voice continued, “Calm down, Sunshine. Calm down. I’m with you; everything will be fine.”
Sunshine was the nickname my baby’s father had called me during our magical night after the concert, and no one else should have known about it. I immediately noticed my friends looking at me, so I faked another cough, hoping it would mask my true feelings.
“Look,” Benny said, touching my shoulder. “I understand you’re not feeling well. Since there are no customers, I’ll close up early, and we’ll leave together! If the others want to join us, they’re welcome; otherwise…”
Everyone followed us out the door, and shortly after, I saw Jill on the back of Lawrence’s scooter as they left a few minutes later. They were obviously a couple, though they both denied it whenever I asked them outright.
They quickly waved me goodbye, then Jenny and Aileen walked away on their own, leaving me alone with Benny. No usual hugs from my female friends, no kisses on the cheek, not even the playful pat on the back from my brother. I couldn’t explain this sudden coldness.
“Now come with me, little Shaz. Let’s take a walk, and then I’ll drive you home!”
The weather was getting colder and darker, but going home to my parents was the last thing I wanted, so I gladly accepted Benny’s offer, and we walked through downtown side by side.
“I would have loved for you to walk me down the aisle,” I told him. “I’m getting married in a week, and I’m already imagining running away and leaving the old Russian standing there like a fool. But I don’t have the guts for such a move!”
To my surprise, Benjamin grabbed my arm firmly. “You will get married, then give birth to your baby in Saint Petersburg, just as your father wants, and don’t whine! You have no say in the matter!”
Was Benny complicit with my dad? With the Russians? What was happening? Clearly, Benny was up to something, and my friends suspected it as well.
We walked for another ten minutes without talking, then he slipped into a phone booth.
But instead of calling his wife to tell her to set an extra place at the table, he seemed involved in a very long phone call. I could only catch a few words from outside: “No extra blood test… Everything confirmed… You did a good job, dear lady… Yes, the others hear it too, I’m sure… But I suspect they’re ashamed of it… No, take it easy… She never brings up the subject…”
He stayed silent for a few seconds and then continued, “Of course, it’s against our plans… But we can take advantage of it… No, no intention! I can’t mess it up! Oh, I certainly feel sorry for her. But the stakes are high… Yes, yes, I understand! I’m in a hurry, bye-bye!”
“But why don’t you ever look for a solution?” I asked as soon as Benny returned. “I don’t want to go to Russia! My home is here in Bugdom!”
“Honey,” he hugged me tightly, still standing near the phone booth, “you know very well that our town is closely tied to the Soviet Union…”
So what! What did that have to do with me? We walked back toward the music store, where he had parked his car, and as I took in our surroundings, every street named after some Russian figure made me feel nauseous. “Damn them,” I thought to myself. “They’re everywhere.”
“You’ll come to see that Mr. Sokolov is a good man after all. He’ll give you money to go to London, and you’ll be able to visit… the person we both know about.”
How was this possible! Benjamin and Vladimir were friends? Had my future husband been doing favors for the man who raised me better than my biological father?
My resistance to this marriage had nothing to do with money. It was the thought of sharing a bed and life with my father’s boss that disgusted me. My dad should love me, not sell me off to keep his job safe.
“How I wish I had been your daughter, Benny. Yours and Emily’s.” They had no children—I never knew if that was a choice or if there were other reasons. Benny’s wife, especially, became hostile whenever someone asked about it.
Finally, we reached the gate of my house. The closed windows and dark balconies signaled that my parents had already gone to bed. I’d be happy with just a simple salad or whatever I could find in the fridge.
“Goodbye, Shaz,” Benjamin hugged me tightly as I slipped the key into the rusty gate lock. “Best wishes for everything, because we won’t see each other again.”
How could this be! The man I saw as an uncle was abandoning me in my darkest moment, the one who had introduced me to my idol and given me the chance to seduce him.
I felt my little girl move inside me, and once again, I heard the strange, comforting voice of my supposed guardian angel: “Sunshine, trust me. I have everything under control. You have nothing to fear as long as I’m watching over you.”
“You’ll get through this, Sharon,” Benny said again as he hugged me. “You’ll see, everything will work out. Now go inside and have sweet dreams.”
The Wedding Day
For a week, I shut myself off from the world. I didn’t dare think about my friends or speak to my brother, who was celebrating my upcoming marriage as if it were a windfall for him. Lawrence seemed only interested in dating Jill and playing football, hoping deep down that my new, detestable husband would support us both financially.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday… And finally, Saturday arrived, the day I wished I could erase from the calendar. I woke up before dawn, with a pale sun barely lighting the room, reminding me that it was too late to escape. I had to marry Vladimir Sokolov in the afternoon, and all I felt was an overwhelming emptiness. No excitement, no joy, just a hollow ache inside, consuming me from within. My baby, safe in my belly, kept kicking, maybe sensing my turmoil.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror without recognizing myself. The bright gaze and radiant smile I had worn when I first met my idol were now distant memories. I tried to relive that July of 1986, when I sat in the front row next to Benjamin, singing along at the top of my lungs.
I remembered watching my brother and friends leave the celebrity’s dressing room, their faces beaming with the thrill of having gotten more than an autograph. I walked out disappointed, leaning on Benny’s arm, certain I had missed my chance — only to find myself in a luxury car, my idol sitting up front beside the driver!
“Take care,” Benny had said. “Enjoy this incredible opportunity!” Then he left us alone, perhaps to join the others.
The wedding dress hung on the wall, encased in cellophane. Long, white, adorned with lace, it looked to me like the specter of a girl condemned to death.
It was supposed to be a symbol of happiness, but for me, it was just a silk prison—a mark of a fate that had been decided for me. I could no longer find comfort in daydreams of my idol’s arms around me. The disgust I felt was too deep for any distraction.
Looking down at the floor, I gently stroked my belly. “My little girl, you know,” I murmured softly to the baby inside me. “Mommy will always be by your side. I’ll sacrifice myself to make you happy…” If only I had known how real that promise would become.
My father entered the room without knocking. “Shaz, it’s time to get ready,” he said in his usual cold, authoritarian tone. There was no warmth or understanding in his voice. To Fabian Gray, I was nothing more than a pawn, a sacrifice for the sake of his reputation — or rather, for the reputation of his employer.
“I don’t want to do this, Dad,” I managed to say, though my voice sounded weak, as if it belonged to someone else. I lacked the strength to fight, but deep inside, I tried to summon any remaining resolve.
“I’ve told you a thousand times, Sharon: you have no choice,” he replied, his words colder than ever, piercing me like ice. “Vladimir is a powerful man, and this marriage will solve our money and reputation problems. Don’t you want a good future for your child? Start by giving her a father!”
One, two, three, breathe. I had to stay calm. I looked into his eyes, desperately searching for a hint of compassion, a sign of love. “What about my future, Dad? What about my happiness?”
His gaze remained hard, and his words were even harsher. “Happiness is a luxury we can’t afford. You’ll marry and do what’s best for your family.”
Those words felt like a knife to my throat. No one was coming to save me; no miracle would change my fate at the last minute. My father had already sentenced me, and I had no strength left to resist.
The day slipped by like a bad dream. Everyone around me seemed happy, or at least pretended to be. They told me I was beautiful, that I was lucky to be marrying such an influential man. But I was numb, my mind somewhere else.
I scanned the crowd, hoping to spot a familiar face. My brother wasn’t there, nor were Jenny, Jill, Aileen, or even Benjamin. My closest friends had abandoned me. Why did I have to face this alone, surrounded only by strangers and false smiles?
Finally, I stood at the altar beside Vladimir, the man I was supposed to love and cherish for the rest of my life. A wave of nausea washed over me. The smell of his cologne repelled me; his presence felt crushing, suffocating. His hand on my arm clung to me like an octopus, and I wanted to shake it off. His breath, heavy with the unmistakable scent of vodka, turned my stomach.
The priest began to speak, but his words were muffled, and I couldn’t fully understand them. Just being in a church, without believing in God, felt violent. Make it stop! Every cell in my body screamed for an escape, yet I stood there, motionless, as if some dark force held me captive.
I felt my heart racing, my breaths quickening, and still I tried: one, two, three, breathe. I willed myself to step back, to take just two steps, turn around, and run away.
But my feet wouldn’t move.
“Sharon Gray, do you take Vladimir Sokolov to be your lawful wedded husband?” the priest asked.
Silence filled the room. All eyes were on me, waiting for the words that would change my life forever.
I inhaled deeply, tried to speak, but nothing came out at first. My heart pounded in my ears, and I felt tears welling up.
One, two, three, breathe. Four, five, breathe… Then, after a week of silence, the familiar voice returned, the one that had been with me through so much. “Don’t be afraid, Sunshine. I am with you. Do what you must; we’ll work it out later.”
I didn’t know their name or how to thank them for the strength they gave me, but calling them a “guardian angel” felt right, especially in a church.
“Yes, I do,” the fateful words finally escaped me, though I knew how hollow they were. Inside, I thought only of my true love, somewhere out there, perhaps with someone else, living a life that no longer belonged to us.
Yet that voice had promised me that everything would be alright. Though I found it hard to believe, I clung to that hope, because it was my last hope.
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