DISCLAIMER: Be advised. The language used by politicians in this narrative may be offensive. Our goal is not to promote any particular political viewpoint but to satirize the wealthy and hypocritical elite whose policies endanger vulnerable populations and create ideal conditions for the spread of infections.
Inspiration
This story is inspired by @futuroprossimo blogger, Gianluca Riccio, who created a fake interview with Elon Musk, through his creativity and AI services.
So why missing the chance? If Gianluca is a normal human without any super powers, here we have our talking HIV virus who can interview the man sent by God, to save America.
Creator’s Note: AI, as usual, gives some inspirations but the writing is mostly our own. We always prefer to specify it every time.
Mr. President
Washington, January 20th 2025.
The inauguration ceremony is over and Donald Trump, shivering cold, is trying to escape the journalists to go back home; he’s tired and has to sign all the executive orders he promised and then his wife told him: “tonight, no matter what happens, I’ll give it to you.”
While he was signing the exit from World Health Organization, however, he heard a voice behind him: “Donald! Do you have a second for me?”
He looks around but sees no one. “I’m going crazy”, he thinks to himself as he puts the pen down on the table; he’s been hearing people talk all day, insults, journalists, a little privacy would do him good.
“Elon, what the fucking device did you plant in my pocket?”
Trump smiles; his best friend is a subject of extraordinary intelligence and imagination, who every day has a new device to show off and brag about to the whole world.
“Come on, dude, don’t play games! Are you wearing some magic cloak? Show yourself, Musk!”
“I’m here to ask you a few questions”, the voice comes from a stain on the wall that Donald had promised himself to paint over but never had because “Mexico first, then my house!”
Impatient, he reaches out his hand towards the wall and with a finger explores that slightly scraped spot. No, no trace of microphones or bugs.
“Damn Democrats with their invisible spies! Who is this robot journalist!”
Exclusive interview
“You’re not scared of anything, are you Donald?”
“Everything can be eradicated with money! So tell me who you are, I’ll give you a tip, but then you gotta scram.”
“I’m… I’m the HIV virus!”
“That’s a good one.” Trump laughed uproariously, but then looked at himself in the mirror:
“I’m 78 years old and I’m hearing voices? How do we explain this?” He didn’t want to admit it, but he was terrified.
“I just want to interview you, President, to thank you because… how can I say it… You’re my best ally.”
Donald shook his head, still thinking it was yet another Musk’s prank, and decided to play along.
“Fantastic! I talk to anyone and I gladly answer interviews but having a conversation with HIV is… extraordinary. What do you want to ask me? Go on!”
“Of course, Mr. President. I’m interested in understanding: with all your moves to reduce public health funding, cut sexual education programs and limit LGBTQ+ people’s rights, are you aware that you’re making my job easier?”
“I believe in individual liberty. That’s the foundation of our American system. The government shouldn’t be dictating our lives. If something happens, it’s a result of personal choices. I empower people to make their own decisions, and that’s the true essence of American freedom.”
“Got it. So, you’re saying that cutting back on education and prevention is just a personal choice? Don’t you realize that this lack of information is exactly what helps me spread?”
“The Democrats’ typical, boring rhetoric. I’ve always said, we need education, but not at the expense of our core values. Certain things are a parent’s responsibility, not the government’s. My administration is committed to protecting family and our way of life. And the fact that someone like you can thrive here is a testament to our commitment to liberty. Isn’t that remarkable?”
“My freedom, yes! We were billions viruses voting you in. But let’s talk about LGBTQ+ people. By passing laws that restrict their rights, doesn’t that seem like an open invitation for me to strike even more? I mean, a marginalised and unsupported community is my best territory.”
“You know, I respect everyone. Nobody respects more than me, believe me. But America is a nation founded on Christian values. My administration works to protect them. It’s not about discriminating, but maintaining order and respect for what has made this country great. And if there are consequences, well, maybe they are part of the divine plan.”
HIV virus feels incredulous. They had never felt such a great responsibility upon themselves!
“So great! You mean I’m part of a bigger plan, one that’s superior to America and even the world?”
“I have no idea. Maybe yes, maybe no. But God has a plan, a big plan. You know, they always tell me that I was chosen by Him to be here, and I believe that. I do my best to carry out His will. If you’re part of the plan, then that’s something we have to accept.”
“Then let’s cooperate, Trump! But first I want to ask you one last question: while you talk about glory and freedom, there are millions of people who suffer because of me. And of you too, at this point. How would you talk to them?”
“They have to be strong. Very strong. This is a country made for fighters. There is no need to depend on Government. Believe in yourselves, work hard and pray. I have created an America where anyone can win, even those who face difficulties. And if HIV is a problem, we will find a way to deal with it, but without compromising our freedom.”
“Great, President. I must say that your approach is… enlightening to me. From now on I want you as my ally, no matter if you must keep it a secret.”
“You bet! I’ll proudly talk about you and all of this! After I have left World Health Organization I won’t even have to get my hands dirty to clean everything up. You understand what I mean?”
“Well, yes! You succeeded in making them believe in Gender Theory and Woke. Why shouldn’t they trust you if you tell them about a talking HIV virus?”
This is pilot episode for a series we have planned for the future, but when we publish next chapter we are going to modify main characters’ names. Raymond and Floyd are Donald and Elon, Melania will be Gaia.
Law says that fiction can’t include real world characters’ names so we change it accordingly.
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